(This was written last week.)
I had a fail mom day yesterday. A day where at the end of it, you get get in the shower, and you just slump over and cry. Or atleast that's what I do with my frustration. I call those mom fail moments. The days where you need someone to hug you and say your doing great but instead you get told, "you just need to realize you have great kids." Yes, I KNOW I have great kids. They are AWESOME kids BUT sometimes and somedays they are not so awesome and being the mom is not so easy. So, just give me a hug or shut up!
My almost 5 year old has decided since she didn't go thru the terrible 2's so much she is going to go through the terrible end of 4's, I am about to be 5. It's truly awful. For the first time since she was 2, she threw a kicking, screaming, trying to HIT her daddy fit at some church friends house last week. Then she did again 2 days later. And again last night. All because she didnt get her WAY! REALLY?? Because the first time I wouldn't let her walk upstairs, the second time because she didn't want to eat her dinner but wanted more candy, yesterday because I didn't let her walk the way she wanted because it was a busy street. A horrible mother, I know right? Where is this coming from? What is going on? Aren't we past the age where kids act like this? My boy has always kept me on my toes but as for throwing tantrums at this age, no. And oh my heavens at the amount of whining! I truly hate it. I mean really, really hate it! Who stole my adorable, sweet child? Honestly, during the day when it is just us two, she is awesome. I don't know if she is starting to act out because she is simply used to just us time and I keep telling her school is coming and she knows she won't have that anymore. I don't know. I am grasping at straws. It's not happening everyday but coming from a child who has never acted like this it seems so bizarre. I have been told that for some people their 4 year old was the thoughest age for them when they were little. Maybe that's just the case. Mom fail.
Then we have the oldest, who is hitting her pre-teen age who is honestly a great kid whose trying to find some independence in way of an attitude. Fun preview of the future, I tell you! She is having the hardest time in Math. Her grade went down over a 30 pt range last 6 wks and when we requested a mtg. with the teachers, we were told, "she's really not even on our radar for concern." REALLY??? Why? Because that is a huge, significant drop. She is not grasping the concepts and they still refuse to offer her extra tutoring. I am math stupid, so I can't help. The husband is math awesome but it's like she refuses to learn from us. I do not know how to help her or how to get the school to put forth more effort in helping. It's so frustrating. She needs extra tutoring but unless we can find someone to do it after school then the school is willing to let her just slide on by. FRUSTRATING to say the least. Mom fail.
So, a combination of these two issues occured yesterday and to say I was feeling beat down is putting it mildly. I was defeated. The husband came home to find me in the shower, crying. Bless that man for not running and hiding. I wouldn't have blamed him. He basically told me I'm awesome which is what I needed to hear and then proceeded to go help pre-teen with her homework. The evening ended on a good note. I love my kids, just sometimes being the mom is tough as all you mom's know very well.