If you have been a reader of mine long or someone who came from my old blog, you will know that I have these insanely vivid dreams. I mean the kind where I wake up some mornings trying to figure out if that was a dream or not. Or the type of dreams that when they come back to me days later, I really have to think hard if that really happened or if it was just a dream. Ya know like, "did I really have that conversation with my husband or just dream about it?" I'm not joking. I have had to ask my husband before about a conversation and he was so confused until I realized it had to been in my dreams.
Anyways, these dreams. They are getting horrible. Over the last few months I keep have these same dreams that my youngest daughter has cancer. These dreams vary by a little but it's always the same hospital, the same cancer, the same horrible, horrible dream. I can't stop thinking about it. It is driving me crazy. And I worry. I know sounds crazy right???
I think it is because I have read a blog of a little girl with cancer? Is it because my best friends baby boy died from cancer? Do I just worry about this deep down and it comes out in dreams? I don't know. Seriously though...it's making me feel sick when I wake up. And it's happening all the time. All the time. I would say atleast 2x a week. That's a LOT!
What made it all the worse was when that cyst ruputred on her finger, they mentioned cancer. And it scared the shit out of me. No lie. I panicked. After her surgery when they got a good look at it, they weren't as worried anymore and said that they don't see that as a concern now. That made me able to breathe easier and those results will be back by the time we go back for her follow up on Friday.
Does anybody else out there have crazy dreams like this that pester you day in and day out? Am I CRAZY?? Because really, this is getting old and it makes me worry that maybe it's not so crazy. Maybe there is something to my dreams. Or not. D
Do you think I am crazy? I mean outside the normal of my crazy?