Monday, July 25, 2011


I am removing all names from emails, but wanted to share these powerful words that two sisters who have gone through so much loss, have to share. These words touched me in such a way I can't even explain. My best friend lost her baby boy when he was 7 months old. Read here for more about that story and how it brought us together as the closest of friends. The first email is from my best friends sister (I have gotten to know the entire family after all these years) who recently experience the loss of her own best friends daughter. The second email is my best friends response.

Hey guys -

Mom & I were having a conversation about why God takes innocent babies?  Why does He give innocent babies to horrible parents, only to end up abused, neglected, and sometimes even dead?  Why do wonderful parents sometimes loose their children?.  I was thinking maybe our job as mere humans is not to figure God out or to know why He does what He does.  Maybe it is just to trust Him no matter what happens.  Period.  We spend so much time & energy asking "Why?" yet we never really get an answer, do we?  I think we just need to say, "OK.  This sucks, but I'm still going to follow God & trust Him no matter what."  After all, that's what true faith is - trusting when it's really hard.

There is a song out called "Blessings" by Laura Story.  I posted the video on my Facebook page.  It has been very comforting to me during this time.

Anyway, just thought I'd share.

Love yall,

(my friends sister)

And here is my best friend's response which is another email full of powerful words.

I love that song Blessings. We also have to remember that God sees death as a coming home, a beginning Of eternal life where as we see it as an end. God sees what we don't see
1 cor 13:12 says that now we only see in part but when we get to heaven we will see in full the why's.
We also live in a fallen world full of sin. No where in the Bible did God promise us a perfect life without sorrow. In fact just the opposite. John 16 Jesus tells us we will have troubles but His presence & peace will be with us.
When (her baby boy) died I came to a point when I decided I was not going to ask why because there is no healing there, but in trust & faith there is healing. I chose even when angry to go to God in my anger & in return I have been given peace. I feel that how can I ever Turn my back on God when God is My source of comfort & strength. The ability everyday to get out of bed & be joyful & face the day because whoever said time heals all things is a liar. I think sometimes time makes it worse, because you see all the things that are missing & all the things that should be. I should be signing up a little boy for peewee football, getting him ready for Fourth grade,  (Her 12 yr. old girl) has (my 11 yr old girl), (her 7 yr old girl) has (my 5 yr old girl), (my 8 yr old boy) should have (what should have been her 9 yr old boy). Things like that.  I don't know how I would get through these times without the trust & faith I have in God.
I read a devotion yesterday that talked about showing people your scars & your stories that through them other people believe & can receive healing. It really spoke to me because most of the time we try to cover up our "scars"  & put a brave face on. It made me realize that I needed to be more open about what God has done in my life even if its hard.
I am also blessed with such a wonderful family!
Love you guys!
(My best friend)

I share their words in hopes of them helping anyone else who needs to hear them right now. Please share if you know someone who could benefit from them.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

What I'm Loving Wednesday

I LOVE that we are getting to take Miss Squeaky to this waterpark next Friday.

I LOVE that it is camp time again! Dropping the older two off at camp on Sunday

I LOVE that they make great connections during the week and have an amazing time

I will secretly admit to LOVING a week of just being a mom to one while they are at camp. I will miss them but the time away will be good to regain my sanity after this long summer so far!

I am LOVING my new job. I am LOVING that I can see the long term potential. I LOVE that people are asking about me because I am doing a great job! That feels good!

What are you LOVING on this beautiful Wednesday?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Just hit Publish

***This post comes from yesterday. I wouldn't hit publish. I always hesitate when I post something really honest and maybe not so peppy happy. This is part of me forcing myself to just hit the publish button and blog with honesty.***

Living in a constant state of uncertainty makes for one to sometimes be extremely grumpy. Or maybe that's putting it mildly, I am angry. Justified anger? Not sure. Irrationally angry? Probably. How do I go about making it go away? Not a clue.

I have this pattern of putting on some worship music and zoning out lately. I try to sort through everything going on and I can't seem to get my mind to calm down. It like there is this massive raging storm going on. A storm that I can't seem to talk to anyone about. Not completely anyways. I put on this music and have these conversations with myself, with God, and just try to grasp some since of peace.

And it's not like it's just one topic that is an issue. It is sooo many overwhelming things going on around here that I feel like I'm drowning. I can't catch a breath. And what results from all this, is an angry person. Oh, I cover it up for the most part, the angry stays on the inside. Mostly. The husband catches glimpses of it occasionally but I try not to let it touch him because he has the world sitting on his shoulders.

Don't get me wrong. I have loads of happy around. I feel and experience happy everyday. I love my kids, they are a huge happy, bright spot. The husband, he's a happy spot, he's just gone so much that I miss my happy with him. I have this amazing family that i am surrounded with love. Those are what matter most, along with my faith.

It's just these other situations, they sit in the background and fester. When I lay down at night, I can't sleep. Then comes the stress, the worry, the panic. The inward insanity and it's like it all festers long enough that I get angry. And then I pray, because, angry is not where I want to be.

How do you process your stress or worry? What helps you calm down and feel peace?

Saturday, July 16, 2011

My Wild Friday Recap

I had an extremely wild and crazy day  yesterday.

 A day one envies and wishes they had done that all day and evening like me.

What were my wild adventures?

Fight germs baby! Don't ya wish you were here to help? Yeah, me too.

This house is sparkling now. Don't be jealous!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

More sleep, less vomit please?

I feel utterly beat down. We are on day 12 of a stomach virus. We have each had it twice, except for the hubby who has only had it once. Just when I think we are over it, someone else wakes up in throwing up.

I miss church. We have now missed 3 Sunday's, two because of the virus, the first week because of other obligations. I am missing my weekly uplift. Yes, I know He is always here but I am still missing my church, worship, sermon, and the church family.

The older two were suppose to go to camp this week. Thankfully, the place that they go to camp at let us postpone it. They were really upset thinking they would miss out on it all together. It's a family tradition for the kids to go every summer once they are old enough. I went to the same camp when I was a kid. It is so much fun and you learn so many different things like learning to ski, canoe, sail, ride horses, and many other things. Such an amazing experience.

Pray for us to get better soon. A momma needs some renewed energy and strength. And I'm tired of cleaning up vomit.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

What I'm Loving Wednesday

I LOVE me a summer mohawk on this boy below

LOVE waking up to find a creeper had snuck in my room and slept on the floor.

I LOVE see this look one little girl gives her daddy because she knows she is loved, adored, and safe. A look that some children never get to experience and she is so very blessed to have.

Monday, July 11, 2011

5k Virgin

I just signed up for my first 5k!! I have 2 months to get myself fully prepared for it. I can do it on a treadmill without a hitch but getting used to outside and on concrete will be tough. We shall see how it goes, either way, I am excited!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Land of the Sick

I had to clean up multi-colored vomit yesterday. The husband has been on shift and not here to help. I vomit when I see or smell vomit. That's where I have been this week. You?

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

What I'm Loving Wednesday

I LOVE an evening out with my Prince
 and some lovely company

wearing a dress that makes me feel great!
Sorry! Forgot to get a full length picture the day I wore it! I LOVED it!

 (dressing room picture)

I LOVED watching a beautiful bride dance with her handsome prince.

Such a beautiful evening enjoying the happiness of two people beginning their life together as one.

Would you like our kind of party favors?

I have birthday party pictures to post but that will have to wait as 4 out of our 5 family members currently have a stomach virus. Too bad I am one of the 4. Too bad nearly everyone that went to that said birthday party has it too. Apparently, we send home stomach viruses as party favors. We are awesome like that.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Safe By Britt Nicole

I came across this song when watching the show Drop Dead Diva which I have actually gotten into even though I thought it was incredibly cheesy to begin with. This song was on the the last episode and I immediatly grabbed my phone and SoundHound it to try to find out who sang it. I have since fallen in love with this womans music! LOVE IT!!

I love this video below of her telling the story behind the song.