Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Hectic Life Editon

It's been awhile since I've been here. For my blog and SOCS. Things are going at a rapid pace right now which is why I thought this would be a great time to post SOCS. It seems reviewing my old blog that life has always been hectic for us. I wonder at some point will that change? It only seems to get worse but worse in a good way if that makes any sense. I start my 15 hours of school in two weeks which would normally be a bit worrisome for me on a normal day but add in the fact that husband is still finishing his last month and half of school, and The Aggrivator is starting football in a week, and Madame Emotions is starting swim in a few weeks....well that is A LOT. Oh wait I forgot that I also have work. Yeah. That fits in there somewhere right? Hmmm.....I need two of me. Or three.

BUT have I mentioned how excited I am for The Aggrivator to be playing football again? And for Madame Emotions to be training to get on the swim team? Now that is some awesome stuff right there! The schedules will be insanity but to watch each of them do something that I know they will have to work hard for but, also, love? It's totally worth it!

Chunky Cheeses

While the older two were at camp we decided to spend some one on one time with our Miss Squeaky. She has been begging to go to Chucky Cheeses for over a year now and we finally took her. We had so much fun with her in there. She was so overly happy about every single game! I love her excitement! After doing awesome at the hospital for her xrays and tests, she was extremely over the moon that she got to finally go to the one place she talks about all the time, although, she calls it Chunky Cheeses. Haha!

And then here is her excitement before heading out to the water park for the day. She was talking 90 to nothing, going nuts with excitement to get there.

And then Momma & Daddy got an unexpected date after the water park because the awesome Maemae took Miss Squeaky with her to dinner. I LOVE unexpected dates. We finally got to go see Harry Potter and I have to say, I LOVED it! Everyone we talk to so far hasn't liked it so I was expecting to be disappointed. I was not.

Oh and we got to go eat at our favorite sports bar & grill! Yummo! But when I took the pictures off my phone for the day, I could only help but laugh at what I saw. I took a picture of the husband. He then took a picture of the wife. Typical man. One focus.

Music Monday: Feeling Good by Micheal Buble

I have recently really gotten into listening to Pandora when I am sitting at my desk at work and I LOVE that I can put in certain singers that I like and it will give me music from others that are similiar. This is one that I haven't heard of until this past week and now love! Love his voice!

Blessings

I am removing all names from emails, but wanted to share these powerful words that two sisters who have gone through so much loss, have to share. These words touched me in such a way I can't even explain. My best friend lost her baby boy when he was 7 months old. Read here for more about that story and how it brought us together as the closest of friends. The first email is from my best friends sister (I have gotten to know the entire family after all these years) who recently experience the loss of her own best friends daughter. The second email is my best friends response.


Hey guys -


Mom & I were having a conversation about why God takes innocent babies?  Why does He give innocent babies to horrible parents, only to end up abused, neglected, and sometimes even dead?  Why do wonderful parents sometimes loose their children?.  I was thinking maybe our job as mere humans is not to figure God out or to know why He does what He does.  Maybe it is just to trust Him no matter what happens.  Period.  We spend so much time & energy asking "Why?" yet we never really get an answer, do we?  I think we just need to say, "OK.  This sucks, but I'm still going to follow God & trust Him no matter what."  After all, that's what true faith is - trusting when it's really hard.


There is a song out called "Blessings" by Laura Story.  I posted the video on my Facebook page.  It has been very comforting to me during this time.


Anyway, just thought I'd share.


Love yall,


(my friends sister)

And here is my best friend's response which is another email full of powerful words.

I love that song Blessings. We also have to remember that God sees death as a coming home, a beginning Of eternal life where as we see it as an end. God sees what we don't see
1 cor 13:12 says that now we only see in part but when we get to heaven we will see in full the why's.
We also live in a fallen world full of sin. No where in the Bible did God promise us a perfect life without sorrow. In fact just the opposite. John 16 Jesus tells us we will have troubles but His presence & peace will be with us.
When (her baby boy) died I came to a point when I decided I was not going to ask why because there is no healing there, but in trust & faith there is healing. I chose even when angry to go to God in my anger & in return I have been given peace. I feel that how can I ever Turn my back on God when God is My source of comfort & strength. The ability everyday to get out of bed & be joyful & face the day because whoever said time heals all things is a liar. I think sometimes time makes it worse, because you see all the things that are missing & all the things that should be. I should be signing up a little boy for peewee football, getting him ready for Fourth grade,  (Her 12 yr. old girl) has (my 11 yr old girl), (her 7 yr old girl) has (my 5 yr old girl), (my 8 yr old boy) should have (what should have been her 9 yr old boy). Things like that.  I don't know how I would get through these times without the trust & faith I have in God.
I read a devotion yesterday that talked about showing people your scars & your stories that through them other people believe & can receive healing. It really spoke to me because most of the time we try to cover up our "scars"  & put a brave face on. It made me realize that I needed to be more open about what God has done in my life even if its hard.
I am also blessed with such a wonderful family!
Love you guys!
(My best friend)

I share their words in hopes of them helping anyone else who needs to hear them right now. Please share if you know someone who could benefit from them.

What I'm Loving Wednesday

I LOVE that we are getting to take Miss Squeaky to this waterpark next Friday.

I LOVE that it is camp time again! Dropping the older two off at camp on Sunday

I LOVE that they make great connections during the week and have an amazing time

I will secretly admit to LOVING a week of just being a mom to one while they are at camp. I will miss them but the time away will be good to regain my sanity after this long summer so far!

I am LOVING my new job. I am LOVING that I can see the long term potential. I LOVE that people are asking about me because I am doing a great job! That feels good!

What are you LOVING on this beautiful Wednesday?

Just hit Publish

***This post comes from yesterday. I wouldn't hit publish. I always hesitate when I post something really honest and maybe not so peppy happy. This is part of me forcing myself to just hit the publish button and blog with honesty.***

Living in a constant state of uncertainty makes for one to sometimes be extremely grumpy. Or maybe that's putting it mildly, I am angry. Justified anger? Not sure. Irrationally angry? Probably. How do I go about making it go away? Not a clue.

I have this pattern of putting on some worship music and zoning out lately. I try to sort through everything going on and I can't seem to get my mind to calm down. It like there is this massive raging storm going on. A storm that I can't seem to talk to anyone about. Not completely anyways. I put on this music and have these conversations with myself, with God, and just try to grasp some since of peace.

And it's not like it's just one topic that is an issue. It is sooo many overwhelming things going on around here that I feel like I'm drowning. I can't catch a breath. And what results from all this, is an angry person. Oh, I cover it up for the most part, the angry stays on the inside. Mostly. The husband catches glimpses of it occasionally but I try not to let it touch him because he has the world sitting on his shoulders.

Don't get me wrong. I have loads of happy around. I feel and experience happy everyday. I love my kids, they are a huge happy, bright spot. The husband, he's a happy spot, he's just gone so much that I miss my happy with him. I have this amazing family that i am surrounded with love. Those are what matter most, along with my faith.

It's just these other situations, they sit in the background and fester. When I lay down at night, I can't sleep. Then comes the stress, the worry, the panic. The inward insanity and it's like it all festers long enough that I get angry. And then I pray, because, angry is not where I want to be.

How do you process your stress or worry? What helps you calm down and feel peace?

My Wild Friday Recap

I had an extremely wild and crazy day  yesterday.

 A day one envies and wishes they had done that all day and evening like me.

What were my wild adventures?

Fight germs baby! Don't ya wish you were here to help? Yeah, me too.

This house is sparkling now. Don't be jealous!